This is going to be a little bit different from the usual beauty posts, but I figure if I’ve got a space to post my thoughts, why not share something which has been on my mind?
I have a little confession to make… I am a people pleaser. Shocking I know.
Confrontation is just not something I’ve ever been comfortable with. Whether it involves expressing how I feel about a situation or a person’s actions, to the little things in life, such as sending food back at a restaurant.
Now this isn’t necessarily a bad quality, it’s nice to feel liked and to be perceived as a positive or kind natured person. It simply means that those who you come across in life, who happen to be more strong willed than you, or even just speak in a louder voice than you do, will not hesitate to take advantage of your peaceable nature.
But there comes a time when you need to start thinking about something.. Has your desire to please others resulted in you being surrounded by people who are likewise looking out for you? People who make you happy? Or are you constantly going out of your way to give of your time and energy to help others, being stepped on and getting nothing in return?
That is what i’d like to talk about today. Toxic relationships which are more than likely doing nothing to help you or your mental stability, but are draining and difficult. This can be in the form of a friendship, a romantic relationship or a professional relationship.
I’ve had lots of these types of friendships, to this day I still do in fact. But I’ve recently been thinking a lot about the kind of person I want to become, and if these people are holding me back or encouraging me to better myself.
There are a few ways you can tell if a person is a toxic friend to have around:
- You’re constantly put in difficult or awkward situations due to the carelessness of their actions
- You’re constantly having to hear about their drama, and feel a responsibility towards them
- They make you feel like you are always at fault or aren’t quite good enough
- They encourage you to take up harmful habits
- They make you question your style, your opinions and your decisions
- They belittle the people who are closest to you in an attempt to make you feel as though they are more valuable than they actually are
- They question your success, constantly undermining your confidence
- They make unkind comments and claim they’re just being honest because they’re such a good friend.
- They are antagonistic and argumentative, only believing that their opinion is the right one
- They are self assured to the point of arrogance, making you feel like your voice doesn’t matter.
These are only a few things which I have put up with in friendships. And as a result of this, my mental health has suffered. As someone who already suffers from Anxiety and depression, I definitely don’t need to surround myself with people who are constantly going to put me down and make me question myself.
The point of all this is simple. You matter too.
Do not sacrifice your mental stability and your self confidence for someone who is only going to sap you of it.
Don’t let someone walk all over you simply because you’re too shy or afraid to stand up for yourself.
Don’t let anyone make you feel like you are worth less than you are. You deserve to be surrounded by a loving, caring circle of friends and family, who want the best for you and want to see you succeed at everything you do.
Never feel bad about being selfish when it comes to taking care of your mental or spiritual wellfare. I promise you, toxic friends wouldn’t think twice about stepping on you to get what they want, so you sure as hell shouldn’t think twice about cutting them off.
If there is someone in your life who is draining your energy, bringing you down or continuously making you doubt yourself. Cut em’ off! Life is hard enough without that kind of negetivity. You’ve got bigger and better things to worry about, and incredible things to accomplish.
Surround yourself with people who truly love you and have the same goals as you do. Good friends are hard to come by, and my guess is if you’ve put up with any of the above for an extended period of time, you’re likely a pretty decent friend to have around. You will have no problem finding honest, kind, genuine friends. And they will see you for what you’re truly worth.
Thank you for reading (if you’re still here!) I’ll be back with another beauty review tomorrow!
Take care, loves 💕